3 Things the Prom Taught Me About Writing

On the left: me 20 years ago with my prom date, Mike. On the right: Me last weekend with my son.
On the left: me in 1993 with my prom date, Mike. On the right: Me last weekend with my son.

Twenty years ago this month, I attended my first prom. Last weekend, I got to experience a parenting milestone as my eldest son attended his. (I won’t go into how old I now feel…)

I had no idea how to approach it from the “mom” angle and even less of an idea how to help my son prepare for it. Needless to say, we both did what we do best – flew by the seat of our pants.

And while we were neck deep in Prom Prep 2013, I discovered a few tips that I can add to my ever-evolving writing arsenal and share with you.

Lesson One: It’s all in the details

Ordering the tux went (almost) without a hitch, but the corsage was nearly a disaster.

Our original corsage order turned out to be for a shoulder corsage, not the wrist corsage we’d intended to order.

If we’d just taken the time to double-check the description we’d have known that. Thankfully, an eagle-eyed designer at the florist called to confirm that’s what I’d actually wanted.

Writing Lesson One

In writing, make sure to always check your work. Missing even the smallest detail can lead to unintended (and potentially painful) consequences.

Your readers (or clients or editors) are placing their trust in you and if you fudge on the details or get lazy, you break that trust. If your readers lose trust in you, you lose your readers.

So take a moment to double-check that fact, or check your setting notes, or whatever applies to the writing you’re working on. Your readers are counting on you.

Lesson Two: Things can (and will) change at the last minute

Since my son waited until three weeks before prom to ask his date if she’d go with him, we went into the tux accessory selection colorblind. We decided to try a neutral-ish color of Navy, but three days before pickup, he told me that his date found the perfect dress — in red. (And it was the perfect dress; she looked stunning.)

We crossed our fingers and called the tux place. Can we change the colors on such short notice? Thankfully, for a modest fee, yes. (And well worth the result – he looked stunning too, if I may say so.)

Writing Lesson Two

You’re going get last minute changes either from your client, editor, or even your muse and you have two choices in how to deal with it:

  1. Whine and waste time fighting about it.
  2. Be professional and take it in stride.

I’m not saying be a doormat when you get an unexpected or last minute change. But take the time to examine it.

  • Is it legitimate?
  • Will it add something to the piece you’re working on?
  • Will it detract or make the piece worse?

Bring up legitimate concerns with your editor or client but otherwise, go with it! This last minute change may cost you something in sleep, missed meals, or a couple of Pepcids, but the results could very well be something beyond what you hoped for.

Lesson Three: Even flying blind, things work out beautifully

My son and his date color-coordinated their attire via verbal description only. Since she found her dress only a few days before prom, we didn’t know whether “Red” meant more toward the yellow or blue side of red. And asking my son if he knew if her dress had “Yellow or Blue undertones” was met with a blank stare and the sound of crickets chirping.

It turns out that they did a great job communicating, because her dress and his accessories matched perfectly.

Writing Lesson Three

You’ve gotten yourself saddled with a writing project that has little to no direction or requirements, or your novel has meandered off like a kitten chasing a butterfly. You’re now in what you consider “desperate times!”

But, you’ve heard the saying “desperation is the mother of invention,” right?

So close your eyes, jump off the ledge of faith, and dive in anyway. This could be your best work yet!

On the Prom Front, everything did work out in the end. While I counted the grey hairs I’ve gotten in the 20 years since my own prom (and writing so I wouldn’t cry), my son was having the time of his life.

What parenting situations in your own life have taught you about your business (whether it be writing, finance, technology, etc.) And do you have any tips on stopping the spread of grey hair?

Photo Credit: Gloria Masse and Jon Bristow

3 Things Walking My Dog Taught Me About Writing

My current furry friend, Ares.
Ares, my current furry companion and scent-sniffer extraordinaire.

I love dogs. Whether they’re yappy ankle-biters or floppy-eared, soulful-eyed, behemoths, they’ve got a place in my heart.

But a special place is reserved for my favorite breed, the Beagle, and I’ve been lucky enough to have been adopted by a few in my lifetime. And just like my two-legged companions, my four-legged furry friends have had a wide range of personality types.

For example, my second beagle, Tiger, was Westminster Show Dog good and loyal beyond a fault. My mom got many a phone call from the school because Tiger escaped from the yard and pulled a B & E on my first grade classroom so he could spend the day with me.

Then there was Mystic, whose approach to life was “I wouldn’t behave if you rolled a squirrel in bacon and presented it to me in a silver dog-dish.” She was a laugh a minute and sweet as could be, but she could also chew through a crate that the “experts” claimed was chew-proof.

Now there’s Ares, my current furry companion. He lies somewhere smack in the middle of that spectrum. He’ll behave for about five seconds if I bribe him with bacon (minus the squirrel, thank goodness) but if his mind or nose gets set on something, nothing short of the Kraft factory’s stock of cheese will change his course.

However, some of his more “unbehaved” traits have given me a few interesting insights on being a writer.

Race, Sniff, and Leg Lift

Say the word “walk” and Ares howls and runs for the door. He’ll even plant his furry butt on the mat and impatiently wait for you to clip on the leash. Whatever you do though, make sure you brace yourself before opening that front door. The sitting all cute with his tail wagging thing is just for show. The moment that door is opened, he’s through it like the Black Friday crowd at Walmart.

That same tree he peed on yesterday is a brand new tree to race to, sniff and pee on again today. Same goes with the patch of grass next to the tree, the gutter next to the mailbox and the mailbox itself. Then, finally, we make it out of the yard. For the first few minutes it’s “race here and smell!” then “race there and sniff!” There’s so much to explore and he’s got to sniff it all.

After a few minutes of racing, sniffing and leg-lifting, he’s either worn himself out or notices that he’s dragging me face first down the sidewalk and slows down to a sedate walk. At this point, he becomes a little more choosy about where he sticks his nose.

But I’ve learned something from the daily bi-polar dog walk.

When I first sit down for that day’s writing session, I need let my fingers fly and mind race from the gate. Don’t worry about mistakes or if what I’m writing sounds stupid. Revisit the same mental ground I saw yesterday if I want to. It may smell better today. And if it does, I should just let my mind lift its leg and mark that spot.

Afterwards though, it’s time to reign in my brain and put on my critical thinking cap. At this point, I need to be choosy about what from those mental explorations to keep.

The time to suck on purpose is over.

Let Thy Nose Guide Thee

Ares can smell a slice of cheese from a backyard away. And he’ll try to find it.

As a matter of fact, that dog lives by his nose. Our walks are usually wild trails through the neighborhood. One second, we’re on the sidewalk and the next he’s caught the scent of something and I’m on my hands and knees trying to drag him out from under a bush (thank goodness for awesome, dog-loving neighbors and no skunk encounters). If he’s curious about a smell, he’s off to investigate.

I’ve learned to do the same, in a manner of speaking. I’m no longer so worried about the “write what you know” rule. I let my curiosity be my guide and if something strikes my fancy, I learn about it so I can write about it.

Also, if my mind starts to wander as I write, I let it. I’ve found that my brain can lead me down some very interesting pathways; places I may not have gone had I been consciously thinking about it. There are definitely times when I have to back-track and run from a mind-skunk. But that’s part of the fun.

Don’t Forget My Treat – I’ll Take Bacon

Once we’ve finished our walk, we’re back and both chugging water. Ares is also usually staring me down, ready for his post-exploration treat. Hey, after that many leg lifts, I might be a little hungry too.

So out comes his all-natural, bacon flavored cookie. (Don’t tell him his treats are actually good for him. He’ll go all ninja on the fridge while I’m asleep if you do.) Hard work deserves a reward.

Same with writing. If I make my goal for the day or week, I give myself a pat on the back and a little treat. Whether it’s cracking open a new book, taking a dog-free walk to enjoy the sunshine, or 30 minutes of smiting the Horde, I try to make sure I reward myself for putting my backside in the chair and getting my work done. Positive reinforcement does wonders for my enthusiasm and work product.

What has your pet (if you have one) taught you about your work or life’s passion? And do you know of a good “beagle training book…”

Photo Credit: Karen Bristow

3 of My Favorite Writing Blogs

Part of my daily web-surfing routine includes local, national and international news sites, Amazon.com and of course, Facebook. But I’ve recently added a metric butt-load of writing blogs and sites to my daily (or at least weekly) reading list. This week I’m going to share 3 of my favorites.

These are some of my “If they post, I read it” sites and I thought I’d share in case anyone else can find the same inspiration, information and encouragement I did. Enjoy!

Terribleminds – Chuck Wendig

http://terribleminds.com/ramble/

Ok, this one needs a slight disclaimer. It contains some foul language. If you find the “f-bomb” offensive, you may want to pass over this one. But don’t let it scare you if you can stomach a little “colorful metaphor” mixed in with top-notch writing advice.

According to his bio, Chuck Wendig has done a little bit of everything: Screenwriting, fiction, game design, zombie hunting… Ok, I added the Zombie hunting myself. But I can totally see him doing it.

He’s got a lot of experience in the writing/publishing world and he’s not afraid to share it. He delivers his advice in a “no-holds-barred-but-don’t-be-scared-and-don’t-give-up” kind of way. I read a lot of writer blogs and Mr. Wendig is one of the best at offering information, encouragement and disturbing mental images (all at the same time) that I’ve found so far.

Make a Living Writing – Carol Tice

http://www.makealivingwriting.com/

Carol Tice is a successful freelance writer and she started “Make a Living Writing” as a way to pay it forward. Her site and blog are full of years worth of experience in how to make it was a freelance writer. She’s not shy about sharing the secrets of her success with other aspiring and professional freelance writers. I stumbled on her blog (from another blog) over Christmas and have been a faithful reader since.

Freelance Switch – Expert Community

http://freelanceswitch.com/

Freelance Switch is another Christmas find. I’ve noticed that this site seems to cater to not only writers but freelancers from other professions as well. This team of experts posts a few blogs per day in topics ranging from tax tips, marketing how-tos and writing tips. One of my recent favorites? “6 Freelancing Tips from Han Solo.” Check it out. There’s a little something for everyone on that site.

What sites or blogs do you visit on a daily or indecently frequent basis. (Uh… keep it clean though; my kids read this blog. Sometimes.)