The Closet Crybaby

I know that I’ll use my blog as a vehicle to vent my frustrations regarding the trials and tribulations of parenthood. But, I also want to make sure that I use it to share some of the pride and joy my kids bring to my life as well. And, you know, brag on them a bit at times.

I’m a crybaby. A big one.

I discovered my sniveling status about a decade ago during a presentation on the rainforest my oldest son (codename: Connor) delivered to his first grade class. The look of horror on his face when he realized it was actually his mother sniffling in the middle of the audience was enough to shame me into trying to keep my waterworks to myself from then on.

But I still have them. I can’t help it. I tear up whenever I experience strong emotions. Pride being one of those.

And this past week of school band performances thoroughly tested my ability to keep my sniffles and tears hidden.

My first challenge? Alan’s very first music concert with his band class. For a group of kids who’d never touched an instrument until four months ago, they sounded all right!

At least, it no longer sounded like a squirrel farm undergoing a painful, mass-suicide ritual. (I’m sorry, but a beginner instrument, especially the trumpet, can sound harsh at first.)

The kids and their band director worked hard all fall. For their first public concert, they treated the proud parents in the audience to classics like “London Bridge” and “Jingle Bells” as well as “My Dredel.” I did great keeping the sniffles in check all the way up to their finale; Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy.”

Yes. A few tears of joy escaped. And a sniffle or ten. Connor, sitting next to me, pretended not to notice (as I pretended not to notice him rolling his eyes at me).

Then it was his turn to challenge my anti-sniffle ability. He performed in two of the pieces during his school’s two and a half hour Performing Arts Winter Showcase (PAWS for short).

Thankfully, it was dark in the auditorium during the concert band’s performance of “Undertow” by John Mackey. I easily hid my red nose and watery eyes. Hiding them during the marching band’s performance of “Rocky Point Holiday” was a bit more of a struggle.

For one thing, the lights were on. For another, the marching band surrounds the entire audience and a couple of his friends were standing right next to me. The pressure to not cry was fierce! I ended up hiding behind my camera phone, taking pictures. Surprisingly, the pictures turned out OK.

So my readers, Connor and Alan especially, if you ever see me sitting in the very back of the auditorium, or suddenly studying my phone, hands, or shoe-laces, it’s not because I’m bored or not paying attention.

It’s so you won’t see me shedding those tears of pride in my seat.